Sunday, September 04, 2005
Welcome to my newly decorated blog! Well, I received feedback that it still looks plain and ugly(like the writer), but heck! You guys will still read it because its written by me, right? *beams hopefully at all readers* I changed the skin cos like everyone's changing theirs, like angel and meiting. I have got to get into the groooove as well, don't I? I am actually thinking of preparing a few ready made templates so I can help my blog change 'clothes' every now and then. But I am getting problems with the fonts and size. Let's say when I used my pink skin that time, I used Arial,and large size for my wordings. Now changing to this, I have to edit all my entries' font and sizes, which is rather annoying. Anyone have any shortcuts?
I am proud to announce that I resisted my chocoaholic addiction today even when a fat box of chocos sat infront of me, whoring their assets, beckoning me to them..First step to my diet! The simple solution is that I walked away from that box of chocolates! Am I smart or am I smart? Choose one. So i am Smart.
*****
My dearest friend is facing problems in her love life. She's facing a tough and sticky situation with basically no solutions. Poor girl. I have no idea how to help her, that's why i feel so bad towards her. She was there for me when I was in deep shit. Now when she's in trouble I cannot actually give any solid advice. I seriously do not think that the problem lies with you. Maybe, you have not seen much of the world. C9, call her up and talk to her. I am running out of advice and ideas.
So actually its not a very good idea to be attached too. Now the idea of being attached sounds so tiring and burdening(if there's sucha word) to me. Like what I said previously, yes, it is true that your happiness multiplies when you are happy with that person. But its like sadness to the power of infinity when things go wrong. It is scary if your happiness solely depends on other people's happiness. You know, the same old annoying corny stuff
" if she's happy, i will be happy. If she's sad, I will be sad too"
*Yawnz*
No I am not promoting singlehood right now. I am not. Maybe as we get older, the idea of unconditional love starts to fade away. Let me phrase it better. The idea of liking a person without any concrete reason no longer exist. My mum calls this the end of "puppylove phase" and gladly welcomes me to the phase where you choose your partner with a discerning mind. You are no longer heads over heels in love with that someone. You choose wisely. You act calmly. Your mind rules over your heart. So would you call that falling in love? Since when does the mind falls in love? Always it is I -heart- you right..where in the world is there I-mind-you?
In the case of the mind ruling over the heart, which is the state I am in right now, I find the above statement in red ridiculous. So does it mean that I am losing my ability to love? Or is it that I have not yet met someone who can make me fall in love with my heart? It sounds like a stinky stubborn dilemma,doesn't it?
It is not the refusal to be in love again. I certainly miss the times when I was in love. I would like to find someone else whom I can love unconditionally again. Ok let's say hypothetically, I found someone that fufill all my criteria of being my significant other. Its not those materialistic criteria la. Although I admit that I am a materialistic person, I have long learnt to depend on myself. I am saying the criteria such as, you know you can definitely click with that person, and he is a very nice guy, he understands you totally,blah blah..
But I do not have the feeling of falling desperately in love. I do not feel the need to stick to him like a wart plaster. So, do I love him or do I just like him? Do i leave him because I do not feel hopelessly in love or do I stick with him? Does the 'head over heels' thingy happen only in puppy loves, or first loves? Is this part of growing up to be like real adults? It is really distressing to realise one day that the love you are looking for will never come again, simply because we are already grown up. Oh man, it is sooo confusing.
Again I must stress that although I am fat, I am still unicellular. I do not wish to ponder that much. Sorry for the incoherent ranting. No I am not depressed or wad la..do not worry about me. I did this entry in happy mode.I am just giving my 2 rupiah worth on my point of view of relationships.
Tata guys
flabbyarms thought hard on 1:42 AM.
