Friday, September 09, 2005

Friday was supposed to be the busiest of all days as I should have 4 continuous lessons. However, 3 students cancelled with me, reasons being,

1) Stay in aunty' s house, 2) House doing construction, 3) Girlfriend's birthday.

Argh

I know I have like spend at least half of my time complaining to anyone who would listen about my occupation. Everyone's sick of hearing my complaints. I am sick of complaining too. But can my students stop giving me shit like that. I am so broke now and I still have to suffer losses due to stupid reasons like that. Damn.

*****
Anyway, I met Eunice today for my bag of notes. It is really nice to meet up with old friends. There's really much to bullshit about. She told me my entry about my ah ma's funeral sounded too cheerful.Hmmmm.After re-reading it, I thought so too. But I meant it to be cheerful, because I thought she went away as a very fortunate lady, and I wanted to show everyone that everything is fine and tell everyone how grand the funeral was, which was the exact fashion in which she wanted to be sent off with..I guessed I overdid it.Oh well..

*****

I once made an observation that people will only start to cherish when they have lost. After losing one ah ma, I realised my paternal ah ma is getting older and more frail as well. I shudder to think if something untoward was to happen to her when I am in Australia. There will be no one suitable to take care of her. She's not like my maternal ah ma where there so many people taking turns to accompany her at night. My ah ma will only have me and a couple of aunts.

I went to find her to chat today. I am ashamed to say that this was the first nice long chat I had ever have with her for the 19 yrs of my life. She just lived 3 storeys below me. She even teared when we came to the topic of my leaving. She told me she do not think she can wait for me to come back. She said she will be gone before she will see me again. She told me she feel that her time is nearing. It made me felt so heartbroken. For the next few months while I am still here, I will keep her company as much as possible.

I do not need anyone to wait for me, but,Ah ma, you must wait for me.